It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Thumb

A funny thing happened to Connecticut writer Sarah Lemire on her way to penning an article on the latest fad diet for a local magazine; she became a humor columnist.
“Beyoncé and a bunch of other celebrities were doing these ridiculous detoxes and I thought it would be interesting to try one, then write a story about it,” Lemire says. “It turns out that detoxing wasn’t fun – at all – but laughing at myself doing one was.”

And because her editor agreed, Lemire spent the next five years penning a monthly humor column for the magazine, all of which are collected in her new book, I’ll Never Be a Hand Model (and other stories I tell my therapist), published by Woodhall Press.

From snubbing Keanu Reeves to dressing like Glinda the Good Witch at the junior prom, Lemire’s stories are a self-depreciating look at her almost-always awkward experiences, along with her wry spin on everything from underpants to refrigerator condiments.

The title comes from a childhood accident when Lemire’s mom unknowingly slammed her hand in a car door, nearly amputating her thumb.

“After a trip to the emergency room for a lot of stitches, my traumatized mom apologized, then bemoaned the fact that I’d never be a hand model,” Lemire laughs.

“Family stuff is funny. Life is funny and it’s completely necessary to have a sense of humor about it all.”

Lemire says that she doesn’t take herself too seriously and that the book doesn’t either.

“You’ll probably end up knowing way more about me than you’d ever want to, but hopefully it’ll be worth the ride.”

I’ll Never Be a Hand Model (and other stories I tell my therapist) is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and other book sellers.